Currently Listening to: Parachutes by Colplay

I’m going home tomorrow. Finally. This has almost been too much. I like it down here, but I’m starting to get to want to be home… I can only take this type of order for so long. I like coordinating my own days and figuring out what pleases me. I have class starting Monday as well, which is why I need to get back home. It’s only 4 hours a day, but I’m not too excited… Apparently I got my room number in the mail, but of course, I haven’t seen it because I’ve been gone. 

My birthday is so soon… 14 days… but I’m not really that excited. I am, in a little way, but not really. I didn’t celebrate last year, or the year before, or the year before, so I’m really out of the swing of caring. I am having a party for once though. I don’t know if my dad is staying for it though. He said he could come up for the 26-28th of June, but he might leave the 29th, which is when we’re going out for dinner and my mom said she would bake me a nice cake. I guess I’ll see what’s going on. On my actual birthday I am going out though. I think we’re gonna get indian. Yum. I adore indian food. It is delicious. I guess I’ll see what happens. But it’s my party and he can’t bother to stay an extra few hours?? Is his retirement really that much important than me? Maybe he’ll stay. 

I talked to my mom today. It made me cry. I’m kind of miserable down here with my dad. And not to be a debbie downer like I always am or anything, but I was just really sad. I nearly had another mental breakdown, which I have regularly. I had a few this week, in my own privacy, which isn’t normal. Normally it just happens and everything goes out of control. Ugh. I am so unstable… which really really really isn’t good. I’ll sort it out one day, but until then, I’m just gonna sit around in my own dumb feelings…