Well. It’s musical time! Which means my life pretty much goes to shreds and I have no time or motivation to do anything. That’s problematic when I’m supposed to be producing good music for viola and lessons and being kind to my students, etc. The pit is shaping up. Well. The winds are… the strings have some major work to do, namely the violins. I can just sit back, until someone needs a bunch of music photocopying. Which isn’t a big deal until someone wants me to copy a whole book. Then I just sort of die. It’s not fun using up my option standing in front of the photocopy machine turning pages. School has sort of been overwhelming yet boring at the same time. My classes aren’t the most interesting just due to the fact that I made stupid choices this year. Why do I need to be trilingual? Goodness. But yeah. Math is interesting. I’m not doing my best, but I’m kind of overwhelmed with the musical. Too much to focus on math too. We have 5 rehearsals this week. Plus I have a big concert on Tuesday. And another rehearsal and lesson on Monday. I’m going to die, pretty much. It’s nice this morning. I can RELAX. Until I have to teach, but that’s not for a while. I’ve had some strange encounters lately, but nothing I need to talk about. I desperately want to go to Prom, but that’s not really in my control so I’m not even going to hope. It’s not going to happen. *sigh* Oh. Crazy for You is the musical we’re doing. Our wind section’s parts are to die for. Anyway. That’s about it for here. I really should write here more.

m.

It seems like forever since I wrote an entry. It is February after all. Happy Month of Love! Well. I don’t think it’s so lovely. But some due, and in turn I will wish you love birds all the best this month. I on the otherhand, am hopeless and will someday find someone? No sé. Everything seems quite hopeless. Anyways. I have been practicing lately, for once. Not as much as I had planned, but more than last year. It is taking some getting used to, I must say. You know? Forcing myself to do it. But sometimes I just walk over to the stand and play. That feels good. But, I will get in the habit soon. I AM improving. So, I know it’s working. I just have to get in the habit. In other news… I am reading “Musicophilia.” It is really excellent insight on all sorts of musical conditions having to do with the brain. I recommend it greatly. Yeah. In general, I am trying to relax about stuff and I what I WANT to do, as opposed to what everyone else wants me to do. That is really hard sometimes, and I’ve had a lot going on lately, but it’s slightly working? Yeah. Also, I might be getting a new instrument over the summer, hopefully. See, I had some money for summer activities but I think I want it to go towards a new viola. My instrument isn’t doing enough for me. Anyways. Not much else here. Just life going on…. I will update if something exciting happens.

Marijke

Yeah. Lately I’ve been trying to consider the future a lot more seriously. I suddenly came to the realization that in less than a year I will have all my college apps done and I SHOULD be ready to audition. How scary is that? So, I’ve been doing my best to keep up a regular practice schedule, which I must say hasn’t been that hard. Needless to say, I haven’t really had much else to do so I guess I’ll see what happens once classes start again. But, practicing has felt fulfilling. Maybe I would get through stuff faster if I actually played it outside of practice room number 7. I’m sure I will. Yeah. That is my biggest goal for this year. If I achieve nothing else, that’s ok. I will be content in knowing that I made a huge change. I NEVER practice. To break that habit will be amazing. I really hope I can. Also, I’d like to grow out my hair. But that REALLY isn’t important in the grand scheme of things. I will cut it off someday. It just would look nice. Anyways. I just thought I’d rant about that. I feel motivated. Let’s see how many days I can keep this up!!

I swore not to do this, but after much thought I decided I should at least think about what needs to happen in 2009… so here goes:

1. Read more.
2. Do all my work on my desk, with laptop turned off to avoid distractions.
3. Ask this one person out.
4. Not rush on the college apps.
5. Give myself time to practice for auditions
6. Get myself more educated in classical music. Something I can always be doing.
7. Be prompt in responding to emails and phone calls.
8. Think about what I’m saying before I say it.
9. Practice more.
10. Succeed.

So, I hope you all have a really excellent New Year. I’ll see you in 2009!! Time to go party the night away.

marijke

1. Relationships don’t last. Seriously.
2. Boys haven’t reached the maturity level that girls have.
3. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Where’s the talking?
4. Drama within groups of friends.
5. Losing a really good friend because you had sex with them.
6. Falling hard. And picking back up is harder.
7. Everyone’s hormones are at super-high levels.
8. Serial daters. I know they’re everywhere, but they seem to be more prominent in high school.
9. Most couples end once college begins anyways.
10. It’s much more worthwhile once you find someone you know you will connect with.
11. Do you really want to be with that person when they’re old, smelly, and hairy?

Well, college hunting that is. Yesterday I went up to Northwestern with Akash and I really got a good feel for the University. The people were friendly, and I really could do what I want. I can either take a dual-degree or a double-major, which was totally new to me. However, I don’t think I’m academically rigorous enough. I guess I’ll apply anyways. I have a chance? And my audition can count towards it, and my essay and things. I mean, I generally get A’s, so it’s not bad. I loved the feel of the campus, the academic rigor. I mean, there is so much to choose from there. Let’s see what else I really discovered, because there was a Performing Arts college fair after at Bloomquist. So, that was a good opportunity to speak to some other colleges about their courses. I discovered some good and some not so good things. One, Peabody is looking farther down on my list. I was hoping I could easily do a double-major because that’s what JHU talks about and how it’s easy. But, Peabody seems to make it WAY more difficult. So, it’s a possibility, but it’s not looking too high up there. Also, CIM is lower on my list by a lot. It seems way too traditional for me. See, I was comparing their college catalogue to one that SFCM gave me. And it’s very different in a lot of ways. They just have set stuff you MUST take. There was no New Music Ensemble or anything of the like. So, on the other end of the spectrum: positives. Well, SFCM is looking high on my list. There were lots of opportunities and it just generally looked like a good place to expand my music horizons. Also, Berklee College of Music was a great place it seemed to do more alternative styles with my viola. So that’s a consideration. Also higher on my list was USC. I can do just about anything there. I didn’t have a chance to ask about a dual-degree or a double major, but I can email them. It seemed interesting. It’s a very high caliber string program. (I mean seriously, Midori teaches there) And Mannes was higher on my list too. I can do other things at one of the other colleges inside the University. NEC I can do a dual-degree with Harvard or Tufts as well. So, yeah. All this got me thinking. I certainly learned a lot. Now I have to compare all this to other things that I had been researching before. Yay college.

Ok. So that’s not totally the story of my life recently, but if I had to describe it in 5 words: 2 nouns with adjectives and a coordinating conjunction, that would totally be it. Yesterday I went dress shopping. I cannot tell you how many black dresses I tried on. I found 2 very cute ones, but one of them didn’t look as flattering on the top, so I bought the other one. I still have $50 left in my budget. Yay for bargain hunting at JcPenney. Best place to buy dresses. It takes some hunting through the 90s style pant suits, but once you get through that, and the mismatched little girl clothing, there are some pretty good finds. Plus, a lot of their stuff is on sale on the weekends. Of course, it was hell there. Why did I go shopping on a Saturday early afternoon? *crazy* Anyways, I got a cute dress. It’s all ruched at the shoulder and boob part and then flows down to my knees. Any shorter I can’t wear.

As for Egg Salad, well, we kind of need to go grocery shopping. So… we have eggs. And par-baked bread. And mayo. Guess what that means!! Egg salad sarnies! Yeah. We have other things. 1 can of soup. Ice cream sandwiches. Frozen pasta. Milk. Cereal. But… yeah. Potatoes. That’s for dinner. Potatoes. Yeah. Maybe tomorrow grocery shopping? But I have class, and lesson, and rehearsal. Sounds like a no-no. *Sigh* Nothing else very interesting here. I’m pretty sure that guys cannot get hints. But… that’s just because they’re very dense. Maybe as they get older. No sé. MEN. GET A CLUE.

Anyways. That’s it. This week is going to be hell. And next week. YAY September insaneness. Seriously. I have something every single evening that will take up a bajillion hours of my time OTHER THAN school and homework. Oh well. Things will get better after Midori comes. Until then, life = hell.

I knew I’d write about this some day.

Let me make myself clear, I got both types of sex ed. That is, abstience only and comprehensive. In 8th grade, we took time out of each day in our “team” to listen to a speaker talk about why sex is bad. Why they regretted it. Why, because they were uneducated, they got pregnant, got HIV/AIDS, the list goes on. So, instead of trying to possibly educate the kids who, at 13 or 14 were already having sex, they just said it was bad. That masturbation was bad because alleving sexual feelings is certainly not allowed. I mean, I certainly got here because a stork carried me from the hands of some higher, unknown being who had no reason for me to have sex. I knew this wasn’t the way to be, but what about the kids that did listen to the speaker who said that condoms didn’t work. Who told them that, no matter what, having sex is ALWAYS a negative thing.

I can’t deny that having sex at 13 can have some negative consequences. Regardless of some kids being physically mature enough to have sex, your emotions aren’t set. What about the fact that there is always the constant pressure to have sex through the media? None of the government-funded abstience-only sex ed covered any of this. What about the fact that in the end, we are all sexual beings? Nothing. After the end of this program, they all gave us these wristbands. Remember the liveSTRONG bands that everyone wore? They were like those. But they were white and they said “Wait 4 Your Mate”. Hold on, the government is using our tax money to tell kids that saying “4″ instead of “for” is alright??? I mean, besides everything else, that’s just… wrong. Oh. The best part? If I went to their office, I could get a free “keep ur pants up” t-shirt. Man, I really need one of those.

Now, let’s get back to my comprehensive sex ed experience. I admit, it was pretty good considering they had to cover a lot in a small amount of time. But there were some key parts that just… bother me. Let’s go into a hypothetical world. You are a gay teenage boy who is just starting to realize his feelings. You don’t understand what “safer sex practices” mean because school only teaches them under the basis of birth control. I read an article today talking about how gays and black people are still under a greater threat of getting infected with HIV/AIDS. We’re not teaching our kids that safer sex pertains to all manner of sexualities. That males who are having sex with males need to use a condom and lube. That females need to use a dental dam. I mean, how would you even know that unless you did research?? You wouldn’t. Or, maybe a girl thought saran wrap was fine because it “seemed” like the same material. But it’s not. Saran wrap is porous, which means that viruses and bacteria can get through it. Not good at all. But even for straight couples, they don’t emphasize that having a back up plan is good. Or that you should use 2 forms of birth control, like the pill and a condom. Using the pill isn’t good enough unless everyone is STI free! Oh the flaws.

Anyways. I’m done with my ranting. I’m starting to think maybe I should become a sex educator…. Apt career possibly? ¡¡En español!! Anyways, that’s it. But… comments?

So I think I’m going to do some book reviews and see how I like it. Or something. I’m not really sure yet, but the whole writing-about-my-life thing is pretty dull. My life isn’t that exciting. So… coming up, book reviews? Or movie reviews? Or CD reviews? I don’t know! We’ll see. If I don’t like that, then I’ll figure out something else to do. But until further notice: experimentation time!

I’m supposed to be taking U.S. Constitution Practice Tests. Whatever…. that’s what multiple browsers are for, right? I’m just bored… so I’m updating. I have nothing really to say, life is boring. Yesterday’s little outing was fun. Monica and I probably got a little sunburned but we went shopping and played cards and in general had a pretty fun time! I went to bed so late. I didn’t intend to… it just… happened and then I couldn’t sleep because I put WAY too much sugar in my coffee at Borders. Yum?

I had a lesson this morning. I was super tired, needless to say and so was Adam, so I guess that was good. We didn’t do a lot. Just went over fingerings, talked about college, and gave me some stuff to prepare while we’re both away since I don’t have a lesson till around September-ish.  I’m not excited to do stuff for university. I mean I am, and he seems willing to help me find a good school. But my parents are next to impossible to help me. I know some places, but a lot of them don’t have music. I don’t know what I want to go into! It’s so hard… I like spanish. And viola. But do I REALLY want to go into viola…? I don’t know. I have nothing more to say.